A wife asked her husband: "What do you

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me - my pretty face or my shapely body or my sweet voice?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour..."

Santa: Yaar tujhe bus mein thapad kyun pada?

Santa: Yaar tujhe bus mein thapad kyun pada?
Banta: Pata nahin yaar, meri photo neeche gir gayee thi, maine kaha behen ji zara saadi upar karna photo leni hai. 
 

Santa and banta were caught raping a girl.

Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade. When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: "Yahi thee, Yahi thee"

Jaspinder meets a her school friend after 20 years

Jaspinder meets a her school friend after 20 years and tells her how her life has been great and that she has 10 children.
'Wow!' says her friend. 'What are their names?'
'Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep, Mandeep and Mandeep,' she answers, smiling proudly.
Her friend looks at her dubiously. 'Really?' she says. 'So what if you want them to come in from playing outside?'
'That's easy, I just shout Mandeep and they all come running,' answers Jaspinder.
Her friend is not convinced. 'And what if you want them to come to the table for dinner?' she asks. 'Again,' she says, 'I just shout 'Mandeep, dinner's ready!''
'But wait a minute,’ says her friend. 'What if you just want one of them to do something?'
'That is also easy,' says the woman, nodding. 'Then I have to use their last names.'

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, he and you both have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Santa was very fond of betting and cricket

Santa was very fond of betting and cricket. One evening he was very sad. Banta asked "what happened". He says I lost Rs. 700 in bet on todays's match. "Ohh. But 700 is a odd figure?". Banta said " I lost 200 during match on bet that India will win. I lost. I thought that I will cover loss and bet for India's win for 500 during highlights also!"

Santa was giving exam and suddenly stood up

Santa was giving exam and suddenly stood up. He removed his shirt. Then he removed his baniyan and when he was about to remove his pant, examiner comes and shouts " what are you doing Sardarji?". Santa replied " It is written in paper that, answer in brief only!"